The Penis Variations

The Penis Variations by Gage Wallace

Penis Variation 1

Man sits in chair. He is wearing a shirt that says “Penis” written on it with black marker. A girl walks across stage in her bra and panties. He stands up with incredible speed. She sexily walks out. Another girl enters that is wearing a sign that says “Commitment”. The man’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he falls over.

Penis Variation 2

Mom enters with a coat.
Penis: But Mom, I wanna go out and experience the world.
Mom: Fine. But wear a coat. I don’t want you catching anything out there.

Penis Variation 3
Wyatt and Mike both stand next to each other wearing “Penis” shirts. The height difference is very apparent. Girl walks out and examines them for a second and then points at Wyatt and they walk off together. Mike is sad.

Penis Variation 4
“Penis” sits in a chair. A girl walks by. He watches her, still sitting and unenthused, as she exits. This is repeated with another girl. Then a guy walks by and Penis stands up and runs after him.

Penis Variation 5
Penis is standing center wearing a coat shivering. He looks at his watch and begins tapping his foot. He is clearly waiting for someone. He rubs his shoulders trying to warm up. Slowly he gets more into it, finding a new form of pleasure in rubbing his shoulders. With this epiphany he has an obvious light bulb moment. He looks around cautiously for any observers. The coast is clear. He tears his coat off and begins warming himself up vigorously…until…until…


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